Three things to know about staying healthy and happy

If we need convincing of the value in staying connected with our adult kids, we can turn to ‘The Harvard Study of Adult Development’. Ignoring the fact that the nearly 80-year long study only looked at men for its first 65 years (it now has women and mid-life children (of the original participants), the findings have helped […]

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“A parent’s love is shown through letting go”

When Cecil Day-Lewis wrote “Walking Away”, he was reflecting, some 18 years after the event, on sending his seven year old son off to boarding school.  He said the memory of it “Gnaws at my mind still”. “… selfhood begins with a walking away, And love is proved in the letting go.” Whether you whooped for […]

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Life after kids – some insights on the marriage bit

A pre-Covid story… It’s been super interesting picking up the ’empty nest’ stories from the northern hemisphere of late – there it is the season of farewells – where wings are being spread in their thousands as little darlings leave for Uni. In the southern hemisphere, the build up is in full swing, for a […]

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The most valuable gift I received when I left home

I have a couple of very faded, stapled sheets of blue airmail paper, endlessly folded and unfolded, tired yet enduring, useful beyond measure.  They sit poking out of my pen mug by my computer, and before that, from my Filofax. This ancient prop is the list of family and close friends’ birthdays that my  mother wrote […]

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Love and betrayal, angst

My daughter had the biggest room in the house. Two windows onto the garden, framing an old wooden desk from her father’s youth. Opposite, a wall of shelves groaning with fantasy fiction, dystopian futures, botanical analysis, Harper Lee and JK Rowling, maths and chem, pop ups, falling apart antique, Leunig, Sean Tan, Shakespeare.  And among […]

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Empty nest without a syndrome?

A common term presides to describe our feelings when our child leaves home.  The go to  phrase ’empty nest syndrome’ falls readily from the sympathetic, knowing nod. It makes sense,  but does it fit for all? A social descriptor, rather than a clinical diagnosis, ’empty nest syndrome’ is commonly associated with feelings of sadness, loneliness […]

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My kid left for Uni, and it stirred some thought

What’s that movie when the two guys set off for Vegas for a weekend of debauchery, whooping, music blaring, and the next scene they are silent and contemplative, only five minutes in?  It’s very funny and reminds me of taking off for Uni several decades ago. My mum behind the wheel, car bleeding bed linen, […]

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